goodbye junior year

I'm going to miss this graduating class more than any other, especially since I've made even more connections with them lately. These are people who appeal to all sides of me: the intellectual, the dreamer, the sentimentalist...friendships that will last forever because of a kindred connection. These are the kinds of friends that I could lose contact with for years, but pick up right where we left off when we get back in touch.

I think the key ingredient that will make these relationships last is the mutual appreciation for each other as people. Just for who we are. I really cherish that, not just because it's extremely special as it is, but because it's the one thing that my relationship with Hunter lacked. He might've loved me, but he never really appreciated me for who I was and all that I gave. He only looked at faults, and ways that it would fail. He has never looked at what he stands to lose. I think that was probably why he can give me up so easily. Oh, I don't know.

The school year of 07-08 began and ended poorly as far as Hunter and I go. I'm in the same place that I was back in August, but I have a new and clearer perspective on my relationship and people in general. It's still hard to have faith in his eventual return. I lose a little hope every day. But if...when? he comes back, I know that things will be even better than the best times before. They always do on the encore.

He justifies his actions, be they positive or negative, by saying "things have changed." He always uses this phrase to take back a speech about how he'll never be with me...or one about how he wants to get married someday.

But in the end, nothing ever really changes.