nu yawk

As shit as things are going to be on the home front, I can't help but look forward to spending time at the lake. I think I'll probably get inspired to write some prose doing something Walden-esque like letting my feet dangle in the water or sitting in sun-dappled shade or chilling on the veranda of the lakehouse or something. I haven't been as inspired since Hunter barged back into my life because I've been so stupidly happy; it figures that as soon as the whole heartbreak syndrome goes away, the stream of words slows down. But I've been reading a lot, and it's making English seem more malleable to me lately. So I don't think the creative flow will stop so long as I continue to read.

Packing today, I noticed that 90% of my favorite clothes are either gray or some muted shade of blue. The other 10% are solid brights. In fact, almost every shirt I own is just one solid color anyway. I'm not much for patterns past simple stripes and the unavoidable plastering of HCO or Hollister on certain shirts. I always feel like dressing up in something fancy and flowery is too much of a hassle. Like I have to groom and tweak my clothing all day to keep up appearances. Bump that gig, I'd rather just look cool and comfy. Ha, if I weren't so obviously charged with estrogen I think I could probably be mistaken for a lesbian...

Though I do like my mutes, I'm very fond of hot, electric blue. The color that my birthday dress is. And magenta's rather nice, too, even though I'm not much of a pink person. I didn't realize I liked it so much until I got that magic bra. Since then I've been looking for heels or pumps of that color to go with my gray skinnies. I've also been wanting to get one of those dresses with the big buttons and some kind of tuxedo vest in a neutral color to wear with all my gray. Stuff that's all kinda Samantha-style. She's always got something funky going. I'd dress like her, but since I'm so lazy about complicated outfits I usually just incorporate one trendy element in with my casual clothes.

How did this entry turn into a discussion about fashion??

Anyway, I think NY will be a nice vacation for me. Maybe put me on the different plane that I feel a nuance of now and then. And some alone time elsewhere will give me the time to sort things out as far as my relationship and my family go. When I'm home I always tend to feel like I'm too busy, even when I'm doing nothing. I'm still trying to process all these changes, and determine if there even are changes to process or if I'm just kidding myself again. But even in all the hubbub of my head, the notion that Hunter has truly made some progress rings loud and clear. So I'm trying to just be purely happy about that, instead of filtering it through doubt over and over. And I understand my parents and my family more as people nowadays, too. It seems like some fog is clearing.

And it feels hellz good.

On another note, Hunter is damn near narcoleptic. I dunno what on earth he's going to do when he has to start working and can't sleep for fourteen hours anymore. Noob.