I like yew trees

They're big and fluffy.

There have been so many things I could write about the way I feel and what I'm thinking, but I've talked about it so much already I simply don't have the energy to recount everything here. I'm totally drained of deep conversation, so sorry blog. First come, first serve. Well, I don't suppose it's entirely your fault considering you can't call me, but why am I talking to a cyberspace entity anyway, moving on.

I've been slogging through a short story that's going to be composed of three metaphorical themes. It's probably about 5% reality. Maybe less. It fits the way I feel about recent events, plus a dose of dramatization just to give it a little more kick, but I've been having a hell of a time getting my thoughts in order. The problem with these totally unrealistic themes is that readers can't completely relate to this right away. They might be able to relate to the feeling and what kind of idea I'm trying to get across but they can't quite set the scene. So, I either have to describe the shit out of them, or be so artistically ambiguous that it works out. And it's hard to do that and not sound like a fucking idiot.

I am determined not to be caught by surprise by what I'm dealing with. Not, not, not going to be caught by surprise. I can't be, can I? It's like dealing with myself plus some very masculine aspects. As cranky as I am right now I can't deny that I love having a sparring partner. Besides, I'm too relaxed in general to really let anything ruffle me too much.

Maybe I'm not the complicated one. Or maybe I am too and being a chick just makes my problems more subtle and...er, subordinate, in a way. I'm no hardcore feminist, I don't mind saying males tend to dominate things or anything because they have to in certain aspects or the relationship ends up skewed. I am just a little easier going about this, though. I listen more and just have an intense outburst every now and then. Not sure why, but if I wasn't a better listener I'm sure that would pose a gigantic problem. Two extremely passionate and self-possessed people...oh boy. Yeah, I can do neutralizer. It's a necessity. Natural for me anyway.

But that does make me wonder if I will ever be the one not having to take the "tolerating" role in a relationship. Maybe it's a matter of gender. I'm still learning about men, considering I've never technically been with one...heh...so I'll see how things go. I don't think I'd like the feeling of being "tolerated" anyway. He wouldn't wanna deal with that, anyway.

'Nother football game tonight. I can't wait to see Lily and Bella. Leetle qtpies.